Passion

A friend I know told me that one of the many reasons his ex wanted to break up was because "he didn't have a passion (about anything.)" First of all, she was wrong. He does have a passion. His passion is to make a lot of money, legally, of course. He is just not particularly fixated on any particular career path.

Of course, the ex was only in her twenties when she said that. Of course, she also, at the time, had her eyes on a guy, whom she later on dated, who was a fan of fixing cars. Of course, when you were twenties, and wanted to end one relationship and jump into another, and you were constantly being asked, "Why? What is wrong with me? What can I do to change?" You will say just about anything. But, passion was about the worst reason I've heard.

And, how exactly do you define passion? Everybody knows that the writer of Harry Potter was on welfare when Harry Potter finally caught on and became a phenomenal success. But will I follow/support a guy to that point? The answer is no. Perhaps he will make it one day, perhaps he will not. If he doesn't, I will be an idiot to have wasted so much time with him. If he does, then it will be my lost. But I will not follow a guy to that point. But, at the very minimum, I can understand a passion for creativity -- writing a screen play, writing a book, becoming an actor/actress/dancer/world-renowned athlete/programmer/noble prize winner. At least I get those. I will not personally pursue it to the point of poverty (not how I was raised), but at least I understand. But how is car-fixing a passion? I'm sorry, unless this "passion" can, at some point, turn into a livelihood, it's just a hobby. And, yes, aspiring to one day have your own auto-shop count. It doesn't have to be a ridiculous amount of money, but if you are living in your parents house, barely making ends meet, and/or not have a job that can pay your expenses, then your hobby -- not passion, very different -- is just making you a loser.

Sales Pitch

So, continuing my thought of carrying my own atheism/agnostic pamphlets, I've got to think that it's a lot harder to convert a religious person to non-religious versus vice versa. Just think, bottom line, religious is selling you something -- a hope, a supernatural being looking down (kindly) on us, life after death, that life has a purpose after all. Whereas atheism is selling nothing. It's like saying, "Sorry, buddy, all you see is all you get." There are no extra stock in the back (afterlife). Or, agnostic, "Sorry, buddy, there might or might not be something after death. Life might or might not have a meaning -- we just don't know."

When a person is in distress, it is natural to turn to a superpower, or at least hope against hope that there is one. Hence the saying "there is no atheist in a foxhole." Even the most logical person is willing to give up logic, when logic is not offering a way out, i.e. a loved one is diagnosed with terminal illness. All of a sudden they are willing to try prayer (can't hurt), or try any natural/homeopathic concoction of vegetables that allegedly will make your love ones' cancer go away.

And, most importantly, it is going to turn many people's lives upside down, if they decided to give up their religions. Religion, for the most part, in my opinion, is a clutch; a clutch that allow one to deal with the hardship, desperation, or just the mundaneness of everyday life. It is, for this very reason, that atheism will be a hard sell.

Cute Girls

So these two cute girls came up to me and my husband one Friday night when we were walking around downtown, looking for place to eat. They stopped us in the middle of our path, give us pamphlets and invited us to go to dinner at their church. Reflexively, I ripped the pamphlet out of my husband's hands, and handed both of them back to them and politely (I thought I was at the time) told them that we are atheists. The two poor girls were so shocked they looked as though I had physically slapped them across their faces. On hindsight, I may have overreacted a little bit and my punishment was that I felt bad for half of my dinner. Yes, that was punishment for a Friday night fine dining! In my defense, I probably would have reacted the same way when anyone come up to me and peddle just about anything, and worse if they are at my door, invading my personal time.

Okay, so I probably could have reacted a little bit better BUT I do insist on two things:

1) Identifying that I am atheist (actually agnostic, but I'm not sure they know what that is, and it's just too much hassle to explain); and

2) Return their so-called "reading material."

You should be very proud that I didn't add "save a tree" at the end of my fiasco.

On a side note, when my husband says no to a sales person, they will continue their sales pitch; somehow, when I say no, people will just go, "Oh," and move along. It must be my tone or something.

Regardless, the husband later on commented that I was being "vindictive" when I identify myself as an atheist. Now, don't get me wrong, I will freely admit to it that I'm a vindictive person. I know I am and proud to be so. I just don't think in this particular instance I was being vindictive. However, even for me, I always feel that I am being very confrontation when I identify myself as an atheist but couldn't figure out why. Why is it that a Christian can identify themselves as a Christian and it doesn't feel confrontational (fundamentalists not withstanding) but it just sounds "bad" when an atheist does the same?

Finally, I came to this conclusion: When someone say they are Christian (or Mormon, or Catholic, or Presbyterian), they are stating what they believe. When an atheist identify themselves, we are saying what we don't believe. And the underlying message was: I don't agree with you and you are wrong.

That said, that was the third time I "openly" identified myself as an atheist and the other two person, including an 18-year-old attending school to become a pastor, reacted much better. Perhaps, just perhaps, instead of insisting on returning their "reading material," I should start carrying my own propaganda and exchange them with these passionate folks. The front of it will read, "Have you ever considered that perhaps there is no God?"

Turning 40

So, my cousin, who's a mere three months older than me, asked me if I was subconsciously in denial when I turned 40. The answer, I can honestly say, is no. I will admit to it, turning 30 was a lot more scarier and depressing than turning 40, and here's why:

1) You feel young when you were in your 20's, turning 30 was simply unimaginable.

2) 20's went by in a breeze, 30's just crept up on you.

3) When I turned 30, I had neither a career (still don't) nor a significant other.

4) People were not kidding about once you hit 30, you start going downhill. You took the brunt of the transformation here.

During your 30's, you start gaining consciousness, quite literally. You are, sometimes painfully, well aware that you are getting old, relatively speaking. At about 37, 38, you are already in your "late 30's." I'm quite certain that I was already referring to myself as "40" starting around 38 or so, though the husband liked to correct me.

So, the transition from 39 to 40 was seamless, if I may say so. It's like getting married to the same person you have co-habited with for the last five years. Sure, you can say that you are entering into a new phase, but nothing really changed. So I can honestly say that, "No, I did not consciously or subconsciously deny/avoid thinking about turning 40." It's just another day.

My Illusion, My Mistake

Once upon a time, I was very naive. I thought only real friends share their inner thoughts and feelings. In fact, once upon a time, I'd feel hurt if I shared my feelings but that act was not reciprocated. I guess over the years I realized that some people are just very private and don't like to share anything about themselves, and that doesn't mean they don't value the friendship... I guess? But I continued to believe that if someone is willing to share with me their thoughts and feelings, we have moved beyond acquaintance and became closer friends. My mistake was: I forgot to take into consideration the oversharing nature of Gen Y. Evidently, some people just like to share, just about anything to anyone who'd listen. In that case, his sharing with you is merely fulfilling his need to share and it means nothing more than that. As much as the stories are dramatic and entertaining, but when all the person does is to show up, went yak, yak, yak about his life, then tell you, "Oh, I got to run, I'm, like, soooo busy," you can't shake the feeling of being used. So, if you are in that situation, the sooner you are disillusioned, the better. It doesn't mean you should stop being "friends" with the said individual, especially if the stories he's telling are juicy. It just means you should adjust your expectation accordingly. That he or she might not be as much of a real friend as you might think.

Billboard Battle Over Judgement Day

This is too funny.

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/25/billboard-battle-over-judgment-day/?iref=allsearch